Confessions. Do not read if you feel erudite tonight. It will ruin everything.

Check it: this is what I ingested today:


(Yeah, I DID just do a double-colon.  Ka-POW!  Eat it!  Sorry, that's my bad diet talkin'.  And speaking of colons. . .)


One Extra-Crispy English Muffin (butter and honey)
Three Cups of Tea
Three Ibuprofen
One Almond Joy, found in purse, during salmon-watching field trip with Elspeth
One Cheeseburger & Fries, after field-trip, when I was starved
One Bowl Pita Chips
Two Glasses of Wine
 (These last two I devoured with gusto after I heard from the president of the PTA that I'd volunteered for something--remember?--and I'm way overdue on delivering.  Then I looked up what I volunteered for--a thing another woman convinced me would be simple and easy as pie--and realized I've gotten myself into a whole heap of doodoo.  I should have been suspicious because she used to do it herself and was all to happy to pass it to me!  Argggg.)


Nary a vegetable or a fruit to be seen!  Leafy green veg NOT WELCOME!


I began tallying this up in the shower after I put the kids to bed tonight.  I am overwhelmed with the disgustingness of it.  Groooossss.  Often I will eat like a champ.  Not a chimp (I do not eat lice or other, a-hem, unmentionables), a champ: kale and black bean wraps, salads, eggs, and yes, lots of tea.  But tea is good for you.


Lately I've been eating like a college student or a drug addict or a pregnant woman.  It's just awful.


But listen, it's been grey and rainy for a hundred days or more--at least it feels that way--and all day, each day, it seems like it's perpetually 5:30 in the evening.  Constant twilight does strange things to a person.


I will turn over a new leaf.  A new green, nutrient-rich lettuce leaf.


Sea-gulls and scavengers will eat the eyeballs and gonads out of a dead salmon first, since they're most nutrient-rich.  I learned this today on the banks of Chico Creek as I watched the toothy salmon fight their way upstream.  I learned a lot.  And I ate an Almond Joy, pilfered from the Halloween Candy.  Because I am a stupid human who apparently does not care about nutrients.


Tonight I will watch a stupid show on TV, fold laundry, and eat a big bowl of peas and carrots.  As if I could save myself this late in the game!  Still, it will help me sleep better.  I will try to forget about the PTA.  I will try to steady my eager hand as I pass the kids' leftover candy.  I will do better.  I will.  Tomorrow, kale for breakfast.

Comments

Country Girl said…
Ugh! Kale for breakfast? Don't do it! Have some lovely eggs laid by happy hens with whole wheat toast. Save the kale for lunch!
T
P.S. Our hens are going to be MUCH happier this weekend when they move into the roomy and light filled Chick-bit Ritz!

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